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What do we got? A Victim!
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My boys love NBC’s hit series – Law and Order. The show always starts out the same. New York City’s finest arrive at a crime scene and utter the same phrase every time, “What do we got?” Unfortunately, it’s usually a victim.
Are you a victim? Do you ever feel held captive by circumstances? Do you find yourself blaming others? Failing to confront the critical issues that you face?
Whenever you get stuck in the victim cycle, you can’t get unstuck until you first acknowledge that you’re acting like a victim and probably paying a price for it. Ask yourself the following questions:
Do you feel held captive by circumstances?
Do you feel you lack control over present circumstances?
Do you find yourself blaming others?
Do you find yourself pointing fingers?
Do you discuss more on what you can’t do, than what you can do?
Do you fail to confront the toughest issues you face?
Do you cite your confusion as a reason for not taking action?
Do you resist asking probing questions about your own accountability?
Do you feel that you’re being treated unfairly and don’t think you can do anything about it?
Do you find yourself saying…
It’s not my job!
There’s nothing I can do
Just tell me what you want me to do!
Do you find yourself…
Colleague or boss bashing?
Viewing the world with a pessimistic attitude?
Telling the same old story about how someone took advantage of you?
Spending time crafting a compelling story detailing why you were not at fault?
Shielding yourself from accountability because it’s comfortable?
Are you…
Claiming to be unaware of certain circumstances?
Pretending not to know what’s going on?
Arguing that you can’t do anything?
Suggesting that you should wait for tomorrow?
Perhaps you should ask yourself these questions…
If I wanted to warn someone in similar circumstances not to make the same mistakes, what would I tell them to do?
What facts did (or do) I choose to ignore?
What facts should I add to the story that I have left out?
What would I do differently if I faced the situation again?
Those who own their own circumstances never let the actions of others cause them to act like victims. They accept how their behavior may have contributed. Even true victims can’t move forward to happier (and more productive) times until they can be accountable for where to go from here. Until they consistently ask what else can I do to change my circumstances. Just by asking that question, they spend less time as the victim.
